Orlando thinks they're doing me a favor, but they're off kilter.  They are stupid and won't think for themselves.

Everyone is just being difficult.

The people monitoring me in private go crazy if I do anything physical when upset, like wail, even if I am alone.  It's a huge deal, though.  It made me even more mad last time while I was doing something significant.  I was already hopeless and depressed, but they're always worst case scenario and freak out and act silent and produce the result.  This could last days, all week, weeks, or in a way months.  They're just so stubborn.

The people in Orlando where I live are so stubborn, too.  I mean, I can't talk to me for them.  They always freak out selfishly when I'm the one who gets a problem.

So, no one will be strong and think for themselves.  They just dump all this stress on me, like I'm in huge trouble because I've been spotted out and am monitored in private.  They said a relative couldn't stand it for a certain reason, and they do it.

I also want to say they bring it on.  Can it just be stupidly entirely my fault?  What's so bad?  They said they are gonna be mean to me so I can't just react physically all the time.

They are there to ruin my life if I try to feel better, too.  They always want me in a state of panic.

I just called a nurse line and am supposed to go to urgent care, too, feeling stress and trembling, for other reasons, at least too.

Some people I talk to are also a bit held back from being more upfront with me, and I leave feeling perplexed and feeling the effects of racism.  I don't always realize it right away.

So, the people monitoring me in private even can't think for themselves.  They just want to show off.  I can't think for them!  I already did that, but they are stubborn and want to be simple, if I react physically in private, like wail on my sofa or something, I have to suffer a long time feeling sorry for it.  Sometimes, it's just too much.  They won't stop abusing me.  I don't want a stupid answer, neither.  I try to not do that anyway.  If I do it is not necessarily the end of the world and something to freak out over.  They don't care if people were being mean to me.  They think it's all my fault.

I was upset that way during something significant, and a relative thinks if something happens around something, "Why, then, it must be related."  So, they always do that to me, if I have an off thought or something.  They are always digging in my thoughts.

Anyway, this was too important, and I'm gonna have to pay and I'm not prepared to do this.  I feel stressed and need to go to urgent care, too.  I keep feeling uptight because of the people around me freaking out like I'm bad and in trouble.

They don't seem to let me sort out my feelings so this doesn't happen too much.  I was indeed being bullied.

The people monitoring me in private want to go by without acknowledging things.  They do mean stuff to me, like a family member said to.  I can't think for them!  I feel pressure about this.  They are always so mean, and regardless my life is then miserable.  I'm 34 and have no career or anything, and it's because of this.  It's so depressing.  They bother me so I can't get anything done, too.

In the end, they just think it's my fault I didn't get to sort out these things.

The people monitoring me in private display 2 behaviors:

1. They don't acknowledge some of my thoughts, like getting a grip on something or even in a sort of panic attack.

2. They are mean to me "just in case."

I did what I could, but it's too late!

 People take advantage of my vulnerability.

I'm not feeling right.

I'm going to bed hopeless.

I feel lost and misled.  What I was being told, I feel isn't working.

My life is sad and muggy, and what I was dependent upon socially may have been altered for a long time.

Is my life over?

...but I'm already deathly lonely and can't take any bickering from anyone.