I've come to realize I've been having an unusually bad time, like it's funny to them.  They don't give a shit about anything, it seems sometimes.  Important things seem to go by the wayside with them or feels like it.

They just think to do it means they're right because it's something different to me.  It's a substitute for the truth for lack of a better word.

Anyway, it seems like it won't stop and I still have problems.  It seems like people are just doing it.  It reaches me every day.

If I think what I want they say I did something wrong and lose my "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady.

They keep acting mean and "stupid" and not letting me think or else.

They are trying to ruin me.

It's like it won't be what it was said before.

Am I being judged as the result of my abusive, suppressing environment?  Why do I keep losing things I don't actually demand like it seems?

They are only waiting each time for me to agree I'm shit.

I don't want to die in vain.

What do you think?  They keep acting silly talking to me and watching how I feel.

What upsets me is if I show physical anger and in private even that they go on lingering about it like it's wrong for a long time.  Things like that.  There are probably more in that way.

They think they've got me!  This is such a hell of a waste of my time!  They just tell me things I don't accept above it all.

They keep giving me fluctuating messages if true real problems.

They are giving me more problems but also acting like they didn't do it.

They just keep interjecting messages helplessly.  They can't stand on their feet and think for themselves, just are scared to be nice to me because everyone thinks I'm in trouble with my dad, how silly! when I didn't do anything wrong to deserve some of these things in a way, though I do make mistakes.  No one can stand on their feet and decide for themselves not to piss me off.  They think they have to do it.  It's like dealing with someone with a problem understanding things.  They also make up things just for the heck of it, as their daily dosage of punishment, now even if I feel a little upset when surrounded by problems.  What is this?  No one can stand on their feet and make an informed decision.  Everyone is just freaking out like someone will hurt them if they are nice to me because the world is gone and can't stop believing I am in trouble!  No one can stand on their feet and make sense.  Their power lingers, unusually.   I feel disconnected from the world and mocked possibilities for me.  Other people?  They just freak out about me and go on always fixing and maintaining their own lives, however.

I want this to end, I feel distracted.  There's a noice or way the page loads on the computer as a message so constantly.  It startles me and is bad news, like they're talking at me.

They just said I can't have a "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady.

I'm feeling so frustrated waiting for a package to be picked up, no escape right now.  I keep getting these startling messages.  They act like I'm bad to think an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with matters to me, when people do that.

I just can't seem to settle down.

These problems are lingering like it's impressive.

They keep irritating me and get mad if I think of something like the word "stupid."  Then, they think it's the end of an ideal world.  This is stressing me.

It has just gotten so worse and everyone is scared of me.

They don't act like they think highly of me.

When will this be over?

They're acting like I'm to sit here and talk to them all day like this about these "stupid" things, instead of having a career or doing real work and having potential success..

I keep getting messages that have fluctuating meanings.

I got told that people how I don't wanna "can" affect me, though people like an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with can't do things they should.

We've been listening to "trash," people who are up to no good and just "stupid" with some things and involving this lady.

They keep acting like they got me like a kid but like I'm too old to feel young ... like I have to examine their every action from different sides in some weird way like it means one thing, maybe the same thing over and over at times or in some stretch.

They are attacking me in private and then say I'm the one fighting an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

They keep making problems with a "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady.  What if it's not good for me?

They keep acting like I'm bad and my life is going down the drain with their trying to get close to me instead of others too in ways.

People in cars outside say I'm not for a "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady.

It's as though I did something and they said the rest of my life is a fight to her for getting close to someone else in a suggestive way, like I did something and it can't go away.

Someone said that the husband of an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with hurt her, to force her to pay attention to my younger brother.

They are just attacking me like I'm nothing when I want to be nothing in that way.

People in cars outside are claiming an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with like I stole her and am not good enough for her but also in comparison to them/others.