Why does the whole world listen to people involved monitoring me in private?

The people involved monitoring me in private act like they don't know something, but they really do know they are being mean to me and don't care.  I might finally leave Orlando, but it might have spread to the New Orleans area where I'm moving to a group home.  They think they have to be mean to me like they would be they think if they didn't do it themselves.

Other people act stupid like this, too.  I just hate people who do this, who act stupid like they have to disturb me all the time.

The people involved monitoring me in private act like I'm stupid or they're stupid like they're set to be inhumane to me and are racist.

People keep ruining an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

Some people believe I'm a bad person.

They keep ruining an older lady I'm supposed supposed to have a "relationship" with.

I caught someone thinking she's all that treating an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with like a baby when she was mad, like friendly explaining a concept.  It's also in a way she doesn't respect me that's the same.

Barretts are just [word deleted] and go with the flow.

They're showing off being madder than Ellen DeGeneres.

Orlando is full of nonsense to do with an older lady they found who I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.  What will they do when I'm gone and can't hear them over the noise maker?

People still believe something "big" is happening.

The people coordinating my being monitored in private think they can take things from me, like my right to feel or think a certain way about something etc., if something happens.  It's also ruining my "relationship" with an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have.  I don't play around with this, neither!  You've gone too far.

The Barretts are a [word deleted] group of people who don't think I'm that White.

Someone is out to get me and by ruining an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

I heard a plane say because I posted something on Facebook it's off with an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.  They want me to worry about her feeling good in my place, forever.

What if I meet an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with, and the people monitoring me in private are still distracting me and ruining her?

It seems people in New Orleans think they're better racially.

I figured it out.  My aunt thinks like everyone else people are prejudiced against me for how old my dad is, and so she thinks I'll be reckless and the people monitoring me in private ruin my life if I show any physical sign of anger.

They ruined my life while they monitored me in private and said an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a relationship with will really get it.

What if an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with just believes I am in trouble and is punishing me?

They keep acting like I'm "just like everyone else" in a bad way like I lost to an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a relationship with.

They keep ruining it for me.

Boy, Orlando is making a big deal about something, like something bad happens to me.

They're still making fun of my dad in ways they are more like him than me.

I feel a bit worn out, like I need to be careful, after being around my younger brother.

Everyone thinks you're bound to admit you're not all that.

I get the image of my dad's younger sister kneeling at his naked penis, no offense, like a hippie.  What is she there waiting for to come out?  It's like she wants to trap me, like she's "better."

He wouldn't stop.

I think the people monitoring me in private started, too.

My brother keeps trying to control me and ruin me how he acts, and when he's not doing that he "snaps out of it."

They keep making problems I have to wait to overcome.

(continued)

They also say it's my fault.

They keep acting suggestively about an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with, like they keep ruining her. 

They keep saying it's always about dealing with fabricated problems for an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with because they couldn't see anyone caring about me anymore, in certain ways.

...But they ruined an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with, like that's okay.  Can they take it back?  It is not forgivable, like murder.

They keep elaborating like it's fun.

So, they are very mean and now have it waiting for an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with that if I get punished in bad ways that it's about comforting her for being hurt for it.  It seems like a new, strong development coming to full fruition and everlasting, and they seem excited about it. 

Whoever is talking to me, it's like if I admit they're bad they'll call all off.  They have no business being mean to me through this like I'm really guilty.  Why do they have it in them, with the resources to do it?

Sometimes, they impersonate others.

It's annoying, and they're unwanted, in this way.  They make it look silly pretending I was the one who always wants the world to be worrying about an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.  I sometimes stomped in public in Orlando, and people kept being mean, so they think this lady is better than me and they glow at her.

They used to say it was okay if people cared if I was hurt in bad ways after something I did made them think I was weird, but now I am worried they have a new card and instead of me just make an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with suffer to be comforted.

The people involved monitoring me in private seem to have agreed that the person in charge must be my dad, and he's also too weak to assume leadership or make personal decisions about this.  He died 1-2 months ago, pulled the plug.  My mom died 2-3 years ago, sick.  Whose left?  It's the people monitoring me in private using other people, like by blood relation, and assuming they are treating me like they want in their place for them.  They don't seem to be strong to assume leadership, neither, nor comfortable making decisions on their own.  They listened to my dad, supposedly because I lived with him.  It's strange how it stays the same since he died.  He wanted me to have an example set for me of being like undesirable, like say not liking to be attractive and being crude.  So, I catch the people monitoring me in private, also unwilling or sometimes maybe unable to make decisions and assume leadership by themselves.  Some of it seems by choice, others maybe pressure.  Either way, no one is assuming responsibility for their actions.  If I complain about it, they act silly and say I'm silly to always follow traditional rules, and they act like I'm just being atypical and for my generation, who they support against me in things like that.

They said they could ruin my life in different ways because, they said, my dad's younger sister has problems or something understanding the world and why she's older than some generations ... anyway, that, if I show physical anger, even in private, I should be made miserable and "punished" unreasonably.  She, then, has the excuse that, anyway, this will make it safe.  She was a police, too.  Then, my grandma supposedly thought something once being sassy making fun of my heritage that, "Why, if something happens around it, why, then, it must be related."  So, something happened to do with some important people in my life, who supposedly deserve great respect.  I was upset sorta kicking my legs on my sofa and wailing.  I was fed up and pissed off that people, even by hearing how they drive, like they're talking and it sounds like words... that they don't give a damn to make my life any better and it's too bad.  A bit earlier, I showed some less physical anger, and the people monitoring me in private, still, just sat there and waited to punish me later, and I couldn't stand how they do this lately.  It only gets worse, too.

The people monitoring me in private talk and set it on autopilot, so I felt like they threatened my thoughts when I encounter an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

Also, the people monitoring me in private, for whatever reason or relaying whoever as well maybe, act threateningly about my way of thinking because they were told my mom, when I was like 2 or 3 etc., used to tell me to focus and stay still ... For some reason they think there's something wrong with that!  They also say I can't say I'm how I want in like if I'm like my mom in a way, that I'm just bad and that's how they see my dad, like I'm undesirable and I am just bad like I'm taking if I ever learned anything from my mom.  How do these things make sense?  If we were with other people an dI wasn't secluded with them, it simply wouldn't come up, in most cases.

So, the people in Orlando make fun of people they supposedly were big supporters of: Olivia Newton-John, Britney Spears, Keira Knightley.  Well, when I was upset, I heard a car sound like it said "Keira," yet again, maybe because of someone I met with a "fetish" supposedly about looking like other people.  They think I'm in trouble because I showed physical anger, like kicking in my sofa, after that.  They somehow got out like this was their "moment to shine," acting nasty like they blurted out like a type of farmboy, annunciating in a nasty way, everyone so surely this was their time, like blurting out uncontrollably, "Keira, I said Keira."  My younger brother made me encounter it, too, and it felt like I would be stuck that way forever in eternity and it went deep and felt like magic, like that's "something" he could do, in such a case, for he is upset about his life due to my parents.

Once my dad uttered in thought, "It can never get better."  He also wasted my life believing I was in trouble.  So, anyway, it was supposed to get okay and better and great, but they keep getting worse.  Also my dad's younger sister thinks, "I you can't do something little, why get something big?"  Beyond that, it still lingers like for me it makes sense.  So, since I showed physical anger with something to do with some reputable people happening, they thought since it was with them it's worse.  So, it was pretty vicious and still thought about 3 months later, with no sign of stopping, like some other things.  Some people aren't okay with me worrying about a good future, but I need to plan things out.

Money, I have issues with money.  The people monitoring me in private or whoever just follow my insecurities to deal with and try to keep them as insecurities, you might say.  I keep getting in trouble for spending money, like if I think it's okay and it turns out I wish I didn't, like eating out.  I just got a backpack with a lunch section, for good food hopefully.  So, I feel stressed out and distracted, I know.  I try to save.  Still, it makes people feisty, if I think I spent too much and don't know if returning feels right.  I know my dad doesn't like to return, but my mom does.  I have returned a lot of things recently and bought other things, instead.  Now, I just want to save to be safe.  I could be safer, but things seem okay, unless something new comes up.  I might even end up working, for awhile, and save money, partially for school things, like bus pass for example which if I don't get discounts may be $60/month.  At the group home, I pay $600 of SSI for rent and utilities.  I have like $180+ left at that.  I'm hoping to get benefits from my dad and within a year from the VA, as he was a disabled veteran who died, partly with something to do from the military during Vietnam.  I think he was also upset about my mom dying.  They were supposed to live in different places, so my younger brother wouldn't have to move schools and places again.  You know, my younger brother actually with me is always upset, only now admitting who he is as a person isn't what he wants and somehow he alines with me now, thinking he sees something, that I am different because of what I did and my experiences, just "something shiny" he may or may not understand.  So, he's mad I'm in the family and blames my parents for it.  I never knew for sure, but they seemed incapable or deceitful in how they raised my brother as a person in who he is.  I know he violently was against me as a baby etc.  Maybe, they had problems with those things?  So, back to money, I may have about $900 from the $1400 stimulus check.  Expensive things may be a cheaper tablet but with things like more memory (as my other reading device keeps breaking,) things of makeup all added together maybe, I got 2 bags (1 after the other for its features that may also save money,) a bus pass for $25, 7 cardigans to wear every other day in the group home, may need some cheap sports bras, etc.  I got my hair shaved off and ate out a few times.  I also need groceries when my food stamps run out.  I need to pay for boxes, not expensive, and to ship them, like $1 a pound maybe.  I needed some hats when I shaved my head.  Last month, I got some nice crocs that are actually for kids but have glitter.  So.  I am not eating out but need groceries.  So, now it's fixing my violin, boxes to move, luggage, not sure what else.  I have about $90, waiting to get back like $150, $90 being stolen money from a previous month.  If I have to now, I could also return the makeup.  I looked, though, and I guess it was like $50 and could make me happy and treated better..  So, I will work if I don't get extra money, for now, probably, and save up money and go to school eventually.  I move to the group home at the beginning of May.  I have to use the bus, too.  For me, those minimum wage entry level type jobs are a challenge, repetitive and physical work.  I've done it, though.  It might be hard to find a job, too.

Doesn't it say if you are bad to me, it could make other bad things happen? like Orlando, the people being mean to me? as one example.  Yea, people just are reluctant and stubborn to give a damn about me and how they treat me and go out of their way or use me to take out a frustrated mood on.  I already can tell New Orleans, when some get a chance, are uppity.  They want to assert a feeling on me and make me look lesser and weak.

I also have jury duty this week, excited and not sure how many days it will be.  I have to show the bus my paper to get on free and I get paid $15 a day and if more days later $30.  I'll bring my laptop.

So, let's hope for the best with the money.  Let's hope bad things don't happen so much to good people.

They said they ruined an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with for good because I post the problems they give me here, and they just gave me another one.

People indicate to me someone keeps bothering me.  This has been almost 10 years.

They bother me all the time with no excuse.

If they can argue an opinion of something I do, they get worse and ruin an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

They keep making subtle messages to linger on.

They keep acting like I gave in to them!

They got into people in my life and used them to determine how to treat me, like they really are doing it but everyone is uncomfortable to be around me because of them.

They always think I am in trouble, and I think that so many people do this is stupid.

They keep making new moves.

They said an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with was ruined because I alluded to something, instead of something for me.  It's like she lost it for nothing.

It's like they say this is serious and they need to inappropriately stimulate an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with, like they have to regulate it and no one else, like it, funny...

Why is this my life?  It wasn't okay and didn't help me for now and the future.

The people monitoring me can do all these things but not fix real problems.

Still, an older lady I am supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with still remains in stimulated ways where she feels special and alone but in inappropriate ways, though you still see her there.  (No offense to this lady in what I said.). It doesn't seem like it has the values she promised and is quite a big project, which may affect her.

(continued)

They just flip out and say they did it for them.

Someone has been bullying me... for 10 years next year, supposedly though?

So, they made it worse because I alluded to it, here! like it doesn't matter and they can just do whatever they want and they're right.

They take pleasure in using someone against me.

I can't tell when they're talking to me...

Sometimes, I worry about some things.  I think they did it and I feel it around me, acting like an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with keeps getting worse with inappropriate stimuoation.

It keeps being silly like I did something and an older lady I am supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with believes against me for it, like it's her right if I just wonder.  I don't really have completely a proper "relationship" with her, like she thinks if I have a "relationship" it doesn't matter and just satisfies people's plans to be mean to me so they won't do it in place.

Well, something keeps coming up.

They sure are silly.

They just give me more problems if I sort my feelings out and post it online here.

The people monitoring me in private are ruining an older lady I like and our "relationship" we're supposedly supposed to have intervening with someone else talking.

They're just copying someone acting sneaky to be mean to me without getting embarrassed, supposedly.

They keep ruining an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

They rub in someone else in instead of how they used to with an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

It seems to have registered that I have a problem.

They keep trying to make it worse for me.

The people monitoring me in private keep making fun of me and making a big deal out of things.

They're just watching me like I'm a bad person.

They said no.

I don't feel like doing anything!

They won't stop bringing up someone I found out about 1/2 year ago.

They're all up in me.

People keep tapping into me and can't talk to me and be nice.  I have to figure my way out in a snap and it keeps happening.

The people monitoring me in private do something stupid if I say something is a problem.

Change already!

Why wait like there's a tomorrow?

I sense the influence of others.

I can't stand their growing presence. 

These people are annoying me now.

Look, I just wasted most of the day because of them and am not ready for tomorrow.

I feel distracted from getting things done.  Things are expected of me. 

Cars outside keep acting in place of an older lady I like and to people monitoring me in private.  Why can't I ignore this shit like everyone else?

Everyone bad is out on a holiday.

...and they're using it to ruin my relationship with an older lady I like, by inappropriately stimulating her like because they think I'm in trouble she won something.

So, why did they make Easter a time to remember I showed physical anger in public on or the day after Easter when the people in Orlando / Central Florida wouldn't stop being mean to me secretly.  Who cares if it happened on their "Monday after Easter?"  I do think their "Monday after Easter" is a cute idea.  I'm not the one who's really "lost it."

Some people involved monitoring me in private look for things everyone is comfortable with and come in and introduce someone will make them uncomfortable and good Late Baby Boomers will be stimulated out of doing good.

"For some odd reason," they think they should take out their frustration on me, nothing to them but a big problem for me.

Why does anyone have reason to be against me?

They keep making me mad saying my "relationship" with an older lady is cancelled by some way for some stupid reason.

Why do some people always have to be right?

Why are people acting like I'm in trouble since certain times?  Not much of a world.

It's like no one knows what's happening to me.

What was I supposed to do this time?  I felt the world taken under from me, and then it's supposedly an older lady I like and others.  I didn't do anything! and it matters.  I was just feeling different emotions.  It's not a happy thing.

I have a lot of problems from this.  They don't really get solved.

They keep stressing me out, think I could get a brain tumor or something?

Edit

"It doesn't seem like she was famous to help me."

Edit: No offense, I'm not some silly, stereotypical, sarcastic American with a bad stunted vocabulary...

They keep bouncing around saying they ruined/took my relationship with an older lady I like and have me quarantined socially like I'm in trouble when I'm just a normal person.

It doesn't seem like she was famous to help me.

Edit: No offense, I'm not some silly, stereotypical, sarcastic American with a bad stunted vocabulary...

Everyone keeps saying things that means this older lady I like is ruining/stopping our relationship and ruining my life.

Orlando thinks they're doing me a favor, but they're off kilter.  They are stupid and won't think for themselves.

Everyone is just being difficult.

The people monitoring me in private go crazy if I do anything physical when upset, like wail, even if I am alone.  It's a huge deal, though.  It made me even more mad last time while I was doing something significant.  I was already hopeless and depressed, but they're always worst case scenario and freak out and act silent and produce the result.  This could last days, all week, weeks, or in a way months.  They're just so stubborn.

The people in Orlando where I live are so stubborn, too.  I mean, I can't talk to me for them.  They always freak out selfishly when I'm the one who gets a problem.

So, no one will be strong and think for themselves.  They just dump all this stress on me, like I'm in huge trouble because I've been spotted out and am monitored in private.  They said a relative couldn't stand it for a certain reason, and they do it.

I also want to say they bring it on.  Can it just be stupidly entirely my fault?  What's so bad?  They said they are gonna be mean to me so I can't just react physically all the time.

They are there to ruin my life if I try to feel better, too.  They always want me in a state of panic.

I just called a nurse line and am supposed to go to urgent care, too, feeling stress and trembling, for other reasons, at least too.

Some people I talk to are also a bit held back from being more upfront with me, and I leave feeling perplexed and feeling the effects of racism.  I don't always realize it right away.

So, the people monitoring me in private even can't think for themselves.  They just want to show off.  I can't think for them!  I already did that, but they are stubborn and want to be simple, if I react physically in private, like wail on my sofa or something, I have to suffer a long time feeling sorry for it.  Sometimes, it's just too much.  They won't stop abusing me.  I don't want a stupid answer, neither.  I try to not do that anyway.  If I do it is not necessarily the end of the world and something to freak out over.  They don't care if people were being mean to me.  They think it's all my fault.

I was upset that way during something significant, and a relative thinks if something happens around something, "Why, then, it must be related."  So, they always do that to me, if I have an off thought or something.  They are always digging in my thoughts.

Anyway, this was too important, and I'm gonna have to pay and I'm not prepared to do this.  I feel stressed and need to go to urgent care, too.  I keep feeling uptight because of the people around me freaking out like I'm bad and in trouble.

They don't seem to let me sort out my feelings so this doesn't happen too much.  I was indeed being bullied.

The people monitoring me in private want to go by without acknowledging things.  They do mean stuff to me, like a family member said to.  I can't think for them!  I feel pressure about this.  They are always so mean, and regardless my life is then miserable.  I'm 34 and have no career or anything, and it's because of this.  It's so depressing.  They bother me so I can't get anything done, too.

In the end, they just think it's my fault I didn't get to sort out these things.

The people monitoring me in private display 2 behaviors:

1. They don't acknowledge some of my thoughts, like getting a grip on something or even in a sort of panic attack.

2. They are mean to me "just in case."