I simply want to talk about some things but felt safe deleting some..

They said maybe I have to associate with someone how is bad.

Supposedly, an older lady I'm supposed to have a "relationship" with is feeling pleasure from someone and cut me off, like I did something.

They said she felt so good she couldn't face me.

They're going crazy.  They won't stop ruining it for me!

They said an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with is always ruined.

They said I always do something with someone else.

Someone supposedly ruined an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with and they are adding more problems.

They are mean to me if I think of curse words.

The people monitoring me in private act condescending and get away with it in a silly way.

They act like I answer to them all throughout the day.

It seems like they are just wasting my time now, in ways.

I was told I did something to lose something.

Why do the people monitoring me in private saying an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with is canceling our "relationship" after she got more famous than me?

These people act so stupid to me it's what I can't stand!

The people monitoring me in private just want to feel cool saying something mean, to me.

An older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with keeps seeming to have to cancel our relationship or be really insulting, via messages from others.  It may just be the ^sad^ organization of the people monitoring me in private uttering whatever makes them feel good in bad ways.

They supposedly believe they can ruin an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with because I showed physical anger in private in proximity of something to do with her.

It drains my energy every time I load the page because of how the people monitoring me in private time it to startle me with some message somehow.

I keep having to adjust myself even physically at the onset of these attentions.

So, wake up, they are testy to me, and then fart the rest of the day away with concerning me after that.

I feel bad probably because they didn't like that I showed physical anger in private in proximity to something to do with an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a relationship with.  It's gone on for more than 2 months and once I felt better they just must have gradually made it worse.  This is bad for my self esteem.  This is trash how I'm treated.  They made silly rules just for me, like not physical release of anger, though if I had a punching bag that would be an excuse.  I have a sofa.

I don't feel like doing anything, like I am exposed, vulnerable, at risk, probably already tired, annoyed, like I want a bath sometime, like I have things to do that I can't do now.

I really don't feel too well.  I wonder why.  It might be all these negative messages to do with an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.  Maybe, her fundamentals are penetrated, but maybe that just has to do with less for me ... and other things.  In general, I just feel shocked and overwhelmed about nothing but tossing these negative implications, and it's work.  I said it wasn't okay to distract me, like Ellen DeGeneres did, supposedly, putting these noises in my room to distract me (ticks in the garage etc.) and the people monitoring me in private controlling how the page loads to send a negative message, which seems like almost all the time now.  I get messages that will supposedly be fixed, too.  I'm having problems, though, in this involvement.  I can't write it all down.

I don't play this stupid game.  They do.

Bottom line, this really isn't okay.  I feel I have problems.

So, the way the people monitoring me in private do things nothing matters.

They say if I feel distracted, they threaten what if they just ruined it for me with an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with by putting her in my place.

They are constantly sitting there threatening to ruin her.

They give me messages, but they can't help themselves to keep sinking in in suggestive, hurtful ways.

The people monitoring me in private seem to worry like a minority race, and it does get in the way I mean, though I'm not saying I dislike it it be them.

Who is starting all these bad fights?

So, what do you think of these problems?!

Not everyone wants the same exact thing.  It's none of some people's business.

Supposedly Australia/NZ want to ruin an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.  I'm not sure, but someone said something had to be true by someone.

But it's like I have no friends now.

But they really ruined my life and in worse ways later too.

They also make fun of me.

They say I accepted their nonstop insults.

They might be threatening me long term and about an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with, like a surprise.

They won't stop trashing me trying to give me sex.

So, just because I showed physical anger in private in proximity of something to do with an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with ... they are telling me I'm bad more and often.

They won't stop adding mean things even more all the time.

I don't know why, but they might be playing around like someone else boasts or takes seriously sexual command over me.

They keep threatening me...

They acted like I was uncomfortably bound to my aunt forever, but instead of an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

How can I practice violin?

(continued)

It seems like it's to make her feel good about being controlled, to bring up that topic for her.

Why is it getting worse?

My aunt is cancelling my "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady.

My aunt keeps acting like I can't have a "relationship" with an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have.  I don't need to listen to other people.

They're playing around acting like Thursdays I have to get close to my aunt like a regiment.

They're playing around like I can't talk to an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a relationship with on Thursdays!

My "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady keeps getting attacked.

Some people in Orlando in cars keep ruining my "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady using my dad's youngest sister to get in the way for now, could use other people later, not saying it was okay.

They cause too many problems to report.

A car outside claims an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with decided not to care about me.  See, the fame "got to her head," somehow.

They're saying some problem is lingering for real.

They keep making mischief with their hormones.

They did something, and it ruined an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

They might want a day every week or something where they think an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a relationship with doesn't talk.

The people monitoring me in private are undesirable in ways now and want to admit things like everything is obviously wrong.

They said an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with did something unspeakable to me, like I did something wrong.  That makes me wanna lie down and go to bed and I have a day to do.

Everyone is going crazy, and I can get blamed for feeling upset.

I feel like they want less meaning in a "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady I like.

Supposedly, some people are mean to me but think someone else is attractive and so okay, when they are less attractive in ways than me.

Just because yesterday who knows who said an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with can't talk to me today, it became a nuisance.

I suspect sneaky secret messages from others getting involved.

Some of Orlando is trying to get the better of me saying people did things.

The people involved manipulating my life in private are suddenly personally putting down an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a relationship with under someone else.

The people monitoring me in private keep acting like I'm no good.

People in Orlando driving around act like I'm bad and trying to make sure I get treated badly.

They keep ruining my "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady.

Sometimes, it seems they're just ruining my life.

I've come to realize I've been having an unusually bad time, like it's funny to them.  They don't give a shit about anything, it seems sometimes.  Important things seem to go by the wayside with them or feels like it.

They just think to do it means they're right because it's something different to me.  It's a substitute for the truth for lack of a better word.

Anyway, it seems like it won't stop and I still have problems.  It seems like people are just doing it.  It reaches me every day.

If I think what I want they say I did something wrong and lose my "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady.

They keep acting mean and "stupid" and not letting me think or else.

They are trying to ruin me.

It's like it won't be what it was said before.

Am I being judged as the result of my abusive, suppressing environment?  Why do I keep losing things I don't actually demand like it seems?

They are only waiting each time for me to agree I'm shit.

I don't want to die in vain.

What do you think?  They keep acting silly talking to me and watching how I feel.

What upsets me is if I show physical anger and in private even that they go on lingering about it like it's wrong for a long time.  Things like that.  There are probably more in that way.

They think they've got me!  This is such a hell of a waste of my time!  They just tell me things I don't accept above it all.

They keep giving me fluctuating messages if true real problems.

They are giving me more problems but also acting like they didn't do it.

They just keep interjecting messages helplessly.  They can't stand on their feet and think for themselves, just are scared to be nice to me because everyone thinks I'm in trouble with my dad, how silly! when I didn't do anything wrong to deserve some of these things in a way, though I do make mistakes.  No one can stand on their feet and decide for themselves not to piss me off.  They think they have to do it.  It's like dealing with someone with a problem understanding things.  They also make up things just for the heck of it, as their daily dosage of punishment, now even if I feel a little upset when surrounded by problems.  What is this?  No one can stand on their feet and make an informed decision.  Everyone is just freaking out like someone will hurt them if they are nice to me because the world is gone and can't stop believing I am in trouble!  No one can stand on their feet and make sense.  Their power lingers, unusually.   I feel disconnected from the world and mocked possibilities for me.  Other people?  They just freak out about me and go on always fixing and maintaining their own lives, however.

I want this to end, I feel distracted.  There's a noice or way the page loads on the computer as a message so constantly.  It startles me and is bad news, like they're talking at me.

They just said I can't have a "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady.

I'm feeling so frustrated waiting for a package to be picked up, no escape right now.  I keep getting these startling messages.  They act like I'm bad to think an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with matters to me, when people do that.

I just can't seem to settle down.

These problems are lingering like it's impressive.

They keep irritating me and get mad if I think of something like the word "stupid."  Then, they think it's the end of an ideal world.  This is stressing me.

It has just gotten so worse and everyone is scared of me.

They don't act like they think highly of me.

When will this be over?

They're acting like I'm to sit here and talk to them all day like this about these "stupid" things, instead of having a career or doing real work and having potential success..

I keep getting messages that have fluctuating meanings.

I got told that people how I don't wanna "can" affect me, though people like an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with can't do things they should.

We've been listening to "trash," people who are up to no good and just "stupid" with some things and involving this lady.

They keep acting like they got me like a kid but like I'm too old to feel young ... like I have to examine their every action from different sides in some weird way like it means one thing, maybe the same thing over and over at times or in some stretch.

They are attacking me in private and then say I'm the one fighting an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

They keep making problems with a "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady.  What if it's not good for me?

They keep acting like I'm bad and my life is going down the drain with their trying to get close to me instead of others too in ways.

People in cars outside say I'm not for a "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady.

It's as though I did something and they said the rest of my life is a fight to her for getting close to someone else in a suggestive way, like I did something and it can't go away.

Someone said that the husband of an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with hurt her, to force her to pay attention to my younger brother.

They are just attacking me like I'm nothing when I want to be nothing in that way.

People in cars outside are claiming an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with like I stole her and am not good enough for her but also in comparison to them/others.

I don't think the people monitoring me in private would speak like this to others, what a disgrace!

So, just to check things over, I said nothing wrong.

This person was implying things about me.

Someone is acting like I did something wrong and won't stop bothering me.

They are making big lasting problems.

Someone elects to imagine she's putting her hand on my private and that of an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a relationship with, like I did something when I didn't!

I think it's stupid they act like they're not mean to me, mostly.

 They just keep going.

So, she was acting rude texting me, and she was upset though I was nice back.

Someone is acting like I did something wrong texting.

They are trying to cancel my ability to relate to God and give the "magic" to an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

Someone keeps taking advantage of the fact it's like maybe I'm in trouble, how ridiculous!

Why do they keep acting like they can cancel my "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady?  It's sorta a stupid waste of time.

Someone is mad at anything I text and trying to control my life.

Someone keeps bothering me.  I get a projection of an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with acting condescendingly, like because it was an odd process and transition that talking with this other person is something to get on my case about.

(continued)

in a bad way, saying bad things

I keep feeling like the people monitoring me in private may be talking how the page loads.

If I post something online or something, they make it worse.

A person keeps acting like I'm in trouble.

Someone who keeps bothering me said something suggestive that maybe now means it's forever.

Someone keeps acting suggestive to me, like she's disciplining me now to accept the "relationship" is over with an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have.  She dropped a suggestive, lingering message.

Supposedly, it's all over and an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with lost it when she was stimulated by a man a little older, like, because they say I did something when I didn't do anything bad.

It is incorrect to say my experience with an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with was problematic on the get go.  She fed off things in my past that seemed less than perfect, like hitting my wall when angry, and so I guess it led her to cancel it maybe or at least that's what the people monitoring me in private good off about and seemed to say for awhile.

Silly reasons come up, like I showed physical signs of being upset in a proximity of something to do with her, and I forget what else I was going to say.  Oh, yes, that it seems awkward I verbalized this.

This is all suppositional, but she could claim it's true or at least the people monitoring me in private speaking for her.

They just act non-responsive like ... I forget.

The cars outside keep acting like they are saying an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with wants inappropriate pleasure against me, like I'm some monster who did something.

They're behaving as though I did something and she was hypnotized with inappropriate pleasure.

I get subtle hints how the page loads that they claim it's like she's being cooky.

For some reason, I feel I got the message an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with backed out! like because I showed physical anger in private in proximity of something to do with her but I was in private.  They act like I'm terrible and they're the ones who have it under control, but they keep messing with me for that.

When I post here, they say things that ruin it for me.

Why are some cars in Orlando mean to me?  The people driving them.  I can hear them word out messages.

In some ways, they are just making it worse, for me.

(continued)

Are people making money off of this?

What's that?

Your false hope that an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with doesn't "have" to interact with me at all?

People are under the false impression that I've done some horrible things and regularly so.

They make problems and handle things in stupid ways to me.

Sometimes, they change the subject for dramatic effect in inappropriate ways.

They seem to be on a plan to end my "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady for no good reason.  What a waste of time!

The people monitoring me in private are inappropriate.

My younger brother claims nasty news from an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a relationship with.

They're being mean to me for no reason.

They keep saying they're taking away things that are important to me, like my beliefs, personality, mind, etc.

(continued)

They're making things stand out or do new things so I won't forget.

They won't stop acting like someone else partially now is doing what an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with might do.

Look at them making a big deal of everything.

So, my life can get ruined for one little mishap or accidental thought.

They have an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with acting like she's in the action and is scared and gets encouraged and made to feel inappropriately, excessively stimulated.

They held back my life and try to act cute in the process.

Just because the people monitoring me in private want to be safe that I accidentally felt upset like maybe to an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with for 1 second, they made it worse.

They keep being mean and saying it's someone else.

The people monitoring me in private said an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with isn't and this other person is coming up.

They're bemused.  They don't seem to care that they're too bemused, and it makes me feel upset.

Just because I accidentally appeared upset in  certain way to the people monitoring me in private, they wanted to be safe and ruined it for me.

They had had an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with be inappropriately and permanently affected by a man a little older, so it would ruin my relationship as a punishment by a lady a little older.

They showed something to represent a vein flickering after they mentioned someone to affect me in a way I did not like.  When they do things like this, I feel pressure from them that does not leave.

They also gloried in saying the older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with wasn't as connected to me in something permanently seeming.  They were goofing around like they didn't do anything bad, but it still popped up, for example.

They act weird like maybe I did something to permanently ruin an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.  They said something, and someone may have had a real effect on her that may change things via a minute way.

This is a very lame place in their aftermath.

Why am I doing this?  I used to have a job.

They make fun of me when I post here if I've had too much.

Why are they ruining my life?

(continued)

Ah, yes, waste time and unnecessarily make it worse for me.

It's like a little kid asking you a bunch of stupid questions all the time.

It's like they think I want to talk to them about this shit in length and have them ... I forget ... oh, yes, apply pressure to me.

They are making an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with ... I forget.

The people monitoring me in private act schizophrenic.

They seem to be following my dad's crazy rules.  Like, always work really hard for a result, even when it doesn't make sense or you're tired.

These people like to follow me, cause trouble, and "go coocoo."

What do you think about taking relationships from a nice person?  I keep feeling that after effect.

The people monitoring me in private won't stop bothering me and probably are getting "close" to me in a "trashy" way.

Something ticked off the people monitoring me in private and they made this same person bound to me, like she didn't get as close to me as she will "yet," replacing something with an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with, maybe, as that's all she wants to do.

I feel like an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with feels like "the baby" but I feel like people don't want me to feel like a kid anymore at age 34, after all I've suffered and waited.

I just caught up on some sleep and found out about this and now don't feel like cooking.

Someone wants to feel like they're always touching me and ruin it with an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with, like I don't deserve her.

They said an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" is punishing me because I was upset she would not be herself to me and did something and has me hanging on to be the 2nd person she was.

They might be getting at me for something they disapprove of I felt.

Someone might have influenced this decision.

Cars outside are reaffirming an attached case to do with her daughter or another younger person.

They or people in general seem to be challenging a "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady because I showed physical anger in private in proximity of something to do with the older lady.

They seem like "trash" imagining someone to do with me as in trouble because they don't like what I did and they're getting nasty..

I guess...

Someone still stands by that she had to exploit an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with just so she can have control over it in the world.

She also thinks I'm bad or did something bad.

They keep incorporating other people, like they're telling me what to do.

They're just making things worse with their problems.

They can't get enough.

The people monitoring me in private keep monitoring my attitude and mood and lying and making things worse.

I started saying it was them and not broadly those involved, and they're like "well" something's different so they do something different, like this is a big deal.

The people monitoring me in private are nothing to listen to.

They acted like there was someone to do with me that was in trouble because I didn't listen to a crazy idea.

They make silly rules.

They keep claiming bad things about my future.

The people monitoring me in private made a big deal that they said an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with acted like I wouldn't know the real her because she lost it, like she's being inappropriately stimulated for no good reason, to do with me.

The people monitoring me in private just won't stop creating more problems.

The people monitoring me in private keep acting like I come out in a tacky way feeling stupid acting submissive like I serve others.

The people monitoring me in private keep acting like fools and blaming an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.  Other people always blame her for the messages they get and alter, too.

They said an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with sees me as a bad person, though I was good, just to make others feel better.

They said I did something and an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with will not be her to do with me.

They keep messing with me going back and forth like my "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady is okay or just hurting me about it because I showed physical anger in private in proximity of something to do with her.

It seems like an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with is forced to hating me for no good reason.

People think my problems are my fault.  Everyone is too scared to be nice to me.  I'm gonna move, and this could change.

They're going a little psycho.

They seem to be hogging my feelings.

I showed physical anger in private in proximity to something to do with an older lady I like, and now our "relationship" is suffering.  People are honing in.

These people involved monitoring me in private "are up to no good."

If I show physical anger in private, they punish me.  It gets worse, but it was supposed to be more flexible.  They are also superstitious if I do something or think something they don't like, if anything is happening around it to punish.  I'm not really bad, they set me up to feel that way.

It's no use reasoning anything with them.  It's always something stupid that doesn't mean anything, sometimes.

Every time I hear a noise or something from the people monitoring me in private, it always hurts and startles me, and they sit there like nothing just happened.

They keep being picky to me if anything seems off, they start off and act like "it's the end of the world" for me.

I'm getting tired of whoever's interacting with me.

The people monitoring involved monitoring me in private keep making a big deal over private reactions and confusions I don't mean.

People involved monitoring me in private keep telling me no about a "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady.  I can't say, "Say, yes."

I have seen Ellen DeGeneres on TV, and she seems fine.  Still, I keep getting messages that she wants to keep me from having a "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady.  In particular, she doesn't want me to feel that stimulated, and the people involved monitoring me in private also messed with how I'm stimulated.

The cars outside keep saying the people involved monitoring me in private will ruin my life.

The people involved monitoring me in private keep talking back at me, like they will ruin my life.

My aunt seems to have a grudge on me.  Sometimes, I think she made a lot of money or has a lot with her husband, and sometimes I don't.  She "bends over backwards" to help others and treats them with respect.  She seemed to say in a way that said I was shit she wasn't paying for something for me that wasn't supposedly ridiculous in what she said.  I don't like the "tone" in what she e-mailed.  It's like I'm stupid.  My parents both died, and I'm moving to a group home.  She also wasn't very friendly in my dad's final days, like I did something wrong.  She's also been used via people monitoring me in private in ways that's ruined my life and my "relationship" I'm supposed supposed to have with an older lady.

The people monitoring my life keep seeming like I wont have a "relationship" I'm supposedly supposed to have with an older lady I like and somehow think they have something on me, even for private reactions.

Why do people have permanent grudges on me and feel innocent?

So, everyone around me is fighting over an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with, saying if she said I was supposed to have a relationship with her they have to act like it doesn't matter if she has it or not based on that and that maybe it was bad.

If people believe I have enough, they don't believe an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with had enough.

The people involved monitoring me in private got mad at me for words that came to my head regarding what someone important thought about an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

They brought up a touchy topic.

A car assumed it was over and said she has a lot to look forward to in life without me / now.

So, what about an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a relationship with acting nice but others saying she sent them to ruin it?

The cars think they're genius to think to ruin an older lady I'm supposed supposed to have a "relationship" with.

Cars outside said since something didn't go smoothly for me, the last thing I got was taken.

The people monitoring me in private think I can lose anything in this and think oh well maybe because it's not for them! and they're watching.  That wasn't supposed to happen.  It's false drama that yields no real fruit.

They are picky and judge me and ruin my life.

So, we don't have a handle on who's a real threat.

They keep ruining an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

Why does the whole world listen to people involved monitoring me in private?

The people involved monitoring me in private act like they don't know something, but they really do know they are being mean to me and don't care.  I might finally leave Orlando, but it might have spread to the New Orleans area where I'm moving to a group home.  They think they have to be mean to me like they would be they think if they didn't do it themselves.

Other people act stupid like this, too.  I just hate people who do this, who act stupid like they have to disturb me all the time.

The people involved monitoring me in private act like I'm stupid or they're stupid like they're set to be inhumane to me and are racist.

People keep ruining an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

Some people believe I'm a bad person.

They keep ruining an older lady I'm supposed supposed to have a "relationship" with.

I caught someone thinking she's all that treating an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with like a baby when she was mad, like friendly explaining a concept.  It's also in a way she doesn't respect me that's the same.

Barretts are just [word deleted] and go with the flow.

They're showing off being madder than Ellen DeGeneres.

Orlando is full of nonsense to do with an older lady they found who I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.  What will they do when I'm gone and can't hear them over the noise maker?

People still believe something "big" is happening.

The people coordinating my being monitored in private think they can take things from me, like my right to feel or think a certain way about something etc., if something happens.  It's also ruining my "relationship" with an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have.  I don't play around with this, neither!  You've gone too far.

The Barretts are a [word deleted] group of people who don't think I'm that White.

Someone is out to get me and by ruining an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

I heard a plane say because I posted something on Facebook it's off with an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.  They want me to worry about her feeling good in my place, forever.

What if I meet an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with, and the people monitoring me in private are still distracting me and ruining her?

It seems people in New Orleans think they're better racially.

I figured it out.  My aunt thinks like everyone else people are prejudiced against me for how old my dad is, and so she thinks I'll be reckless and the people monitoring me in private ruin my life if I show any physical sign of anger.

They ruined my life while they monitored me in private and said an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a relationship with will really get it.

What if an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with just believes I am in trouble and is punishing me?

They keep acting like I'm "just like everyone else" in a bad way like I lost to an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a relationship with.

They keep ruining it for me.

Boy, Orlando is making a big deal about something, like something bad happens to me.

They're still making fun of my dad in ways they are more like him than me.

I feel a bit worn out, like I need to be careful, after being around my younger brother.

Everyone thinks you're bound to admit you're not all that.

I get the image of my dad's younger sister kneeling at his naked penis, no offense, like a hippie.  What is she there waiting for to come out?  It's like she wants to trap me, like she's "better."

He wouldn't stop.

I think the people monitoring me in private started, too.

My brother keeps trying to control me and ruin me how he acts, and when he's not doing that he "snaps out of it."

They keep making problems I have to wait to overcome.

(continued)

They also say it's my fault.

They keep acting suggestively about an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with, like they keep ruining her. 

They keep saying it's always about dealing with fabricated problems for an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with because they couldn't see anyone caring about me anymore, in certain ways.

...But they ruined an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with, like that's okay.  Can they take it back?  It is not forgivable, like murder.

They keep elaborating like it's fun.

So, they are very mean and now have it waiting for an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with that if I get punished in bad ways that it's about comforting her for being hurt for it.  It seems like a new, strong development coming to full fruition and everlasting, and they seem excited about it. 

Whoever is talking to me, it's like if I admit they're bad they'll call all off.  They have no business being mean to me through this like I'm really guilty.  Why do they have it in them, with the resources to do it?

Sometimes, they impersonate others.

It's annoying, and they're unwanted, in this way.  They make it look silly pretending I was the one who always wants the world to be worrying about an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.  I sometimes stomped in public in Orlando, and people kept being mean, so they think this lady is better than me and they glow at her.

They used to say it was okay if people cared if I was hurt in bad ways after something I did made them think I was weird, but now I am worried they have a new card and instead of me just make an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with suffer to be comforted.

The people involved monitoring me in private seem to have agreed that the person in charge must be my dad, and he's also too weak to assume leadership or make personal decisions about this.  He died 1-2 months ago, pulled the plug.  My mom died 2-3 years ago, sick.  Whose left?  It's the people monitoring me in private using other people, like by blood relation, and assuming they are treating me like they want in their place for them.  They don't seem to be strong to assume leadership, neither, nor comfortable making decisions on their own.  They listened to my dad, supposedly because I lived with him.  It's strange how it stays the same since he died.  He wanted me to have an example set for me of being like undesirable, like say not liking to be attractive and being crude.  So, I catch the people monitoring me in private, also unwilling or sometimes maybe unable to make decisions and assume leadership by themselves.  Some of it seems by choice, others maybe pressure.  Either way, no one is assuming responsibility for their actions.  If I complain about it, they act silly and say I'm silly to always follow traditional rules, and they act like I'm just being atypical and for my generation, who they support against me in things like that.

They said they could ruin my life in different ways because, they said, my dad's younger sister has problems or something understanding the world and why she's older than some generations ... anyway, that, if I show physical anger, even in private, I should be made miserable and "punished" unreasonably.  She, then, has the excuse that, anyway, this will make it safe.  She was a police, too.  Then, my grandma supposedly thought something once being sassy making fun of my heritage that, "Why, if something happens around it, why, then, it must be related."  So, something happened to do with some important people in my life, who supposedly deserve great respect.  I was upset sorta kicking my legs on my sofa and wailing.  I was fed up and pissed off that people, even by hearing how they drive, like they're talking and it sounds like words... that they don't give a damn to make my life any better and it's too bad.  A bit earlier, I showed some less physical anger, and the people monitoring me in private, still, just sat there and waited to punish me later, and I couldn't stand how they do this lately.  It only gets worse, too.

The people monitoring me in private talk and set it on autopilot, so I felt like they threatened my thoughts when I encounter an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

Also, the people monitoring me in private, for whatever reason or relaying whoever as well maybe, act threateningly about my way of thinking because they were told my mom, when I was like 2 or 3 etc., used to tell me to focus and stay still ... For some reason they think there's something wrong with that!  They also say I can't say I'm how I want in like if I'm like my mom in a way, that I'm just bad and that's how they see my dad, like I'm undesirable and I am just bad like I'm taking if I ever learned anything from my mom.  How do these things make sense?  If we were with other people an dI wasn't secluded with them, it simply wouldn't come up, in most cases.

So, the people in Orlando make fun of people they supposedly were big supporters of: Olivia Newton-John, Britney Spears, Keira Knightley.  Well, when I was upset, I heard a car sound like it said "Keira," yet again, maybe because of someone I met with a "fetish" supposedly about looking like other people.  They think I'm in trouble because I showed physical anger, like kicking in my sofa, after that.  They somehow got out like this was their "moment to shine," acting nasty like they blurted out like a type of farmboy, annunciating in a nasty way, everyone so surely this was their time, like blurting out uncontrollably, "Keira, I said Keira."  My younger brother made me encounter it, too, and it felt like I would be stuck that way forever in eternity and it went deep and felt like magic, like that's "something" he could do, in such a case, for he is upset about his life due to my parents.

Once my dad uttered in thought, "It can never get better."  He also wasted my life believing I was in trouble.  So, anyway, it was supposed to get okay and better and great, but they keep getting worse.  Also my dad's younger sister thinks, "I you can't do something little, why get something big?"  Beyond that, it still lingers like for me it makes sense.  So, since I showed physical anger with something to do with some reputable people happening, they thought since it was with them it's worse.  So, it was pretty vicious and still thought about 3 months later, with no sign of stopping, like some other things.  Some people aren't okay with me worrying about a good future, but I need to plan things out.

Money, I have issues with money.  The people monitoring me in private or whoever just follow my insecurities to deal with and try to keep them as insecurities, you might say.  I keep getting in trouble for spending money, like if I think it's okay and it turns out I wish I didn't, like eating out.  I just got a backpack with a lunch section, for good food hopefully.  So, I feel stressed out and distracted, I know.  I try to save.  Still, it makes people feisty, if I think I spent too much and don't know if returning feels right.  I know my dad doesn't like to return, but my mom does.  I have returned a lot of things recently and bought other things, instead.  Now, I just want to save to be safe.  I could be safer, but things seem okay, unless something new comes up.  I might even end up working, for awhile, and save money, partially for school things, like bus pass for example which if I don't get discounts may be $60/month.  At the group home, I pay $600 of SSI for rent and utilities.  I have like $180+ left at that.  I'm hoping to get benefits from my dad and within a year from the VA, as he was a disabled veteran who died, partly with something to do from the military during Vietnam.  I think he was also upset about my mom dying.  They were supposed to live in different places, so my younger brother wouldn't have to move schools and places again.  You know, my younger brother actually with me is always upset, only now admitting who he is as a person isn't what he wants and somehow he alines with me now, thinking he sees something, that I am different because of what I did and my experiences, just "something shiny" he may or may not understand.  So, he's mad I'm in the family and blames my parents for it.  I never knew for sure, but they seemed incapable or deceitful in how they raised my brother as a person in who he is.  I know he violently was against me as a baby etc.  Maybe, they had problems with those things?  So, back to money, I may have about $900 from the $1400 stimulus check.  Expensive things may be a cheaper tablet but with things like more memory (as my other reading device keeps breaking,) things of makeup all added together maybe, I got 2 bags (1 after the other for its features that may also save money,) a bus pass for $25, 7 cardigans to wear every other day in the group home, may need some cheap sports bras, etc.  I got my hair shaved off and ate out a few times.  I also need groceries when my food stamps run out.  I need to pay for boxes, not expensive, and to ship them, like $1 a pound maybe.  I needed some hats when I shaved my head.  Last month, I got some nice crocs that are actually for kids but have glitter.  So.  I am not eating out but need groceries.  So, now it's fixing my violin, boxes to move, luggage, not sure what else.  I have about $90, waiting to get back like $150, $90 being stolen money from a previous month.  If I have to now, I could also return the makeup.  I looked, though, and I guess it was like $50 and could make me happy and treated better..  So, I will work if I don't get extra money, for now, probably, and save up money and go to school eventually.  I move to the group home at the beginning of May.  I have to use the bus, too.  For me, those minimum wage entry level type jobs are a challenge, repetitive and physical work.  I've done it, though.  It might be hard to find a job, too.

Doesn't it say if you are bad to me, it could make other bad things happen? like Orlando, the people being mean to me? as one example.  Yea, people just are reluctant and stubborn to give a damn about me and how they treat me and go out of their way or use me to take out a frustrated mood on.  I already can tell New Orleans, when some get a chance, are uppity.  They want to assert a feeling on me and make me look lesser and weak.

I also have jury duty this week, excited and not sure how many days it will be.  I have to show the bus my paper to get on free and I get paid $15 a day and if more days later $30.  I'll bring my laptop.

So, let's hope for the best with the money.  Let's hope bad things don't happen so much to good people.

They said they ruined an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with for good because I post the problems they give me here, and they just gave me another one.

People indicate to me someone keeps bothering me.  This has been almost 10 years.

They bother me all the time with no excuse.

If they can argue an opinion of something I do, they get worse and ruin an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

They keep making subtle messages to linger on.

They keep acting like I gave in to them!

They got into people in my life and used them to determine how to treat me, like they really are doing it but everyone is uncomfortable to be around me because of them.

They always think I am in trouble, and I think that so many people do this is stupid.

They keep making new moves.

They said an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with was ruined because I alluded to something, instead of something for me.  It's like she lost it for nothing.

It's like they say this is serious and they need to inappropriately stimulate an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with, like they have to regulate it and no one else, like it, funny...

Why is this my life?  It wasn't okay and didn't help me for now and the future.

The people monitoring me can do all these things but not fix real problems.

Still, an older lady I am supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with still remains in stimulated ways where she feels special and alone but in inappropriate ways, though you still see her there.  (No offense to this lady in what I said.). It doesn't seem like it has the values she promised and is quite a big project, which may affect her.

(continued)

They just flip out and say they did it for them.

Someone has been bullying me... for 10 years next year, supposedly though?

So, they made it worse because I alluded to it, here! like it doesn't matter and they can just do whatever they want and they're right.

They take pleasure in using someone against me.

I can't tell when they're talking to me...

Sometimes, I worry about some things.  I think they did it and I feel it around me, acting like an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with keeps getting worse with inappropriate stimuoation.

It keeps being silly like I did something and an older lady I am supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with believes against me for it, like it's her right if I just wonder.  I don't really have completely a proper "relationship" with her, like she thinks if I have a "relationship" it doesn't matter and just satisfies people's plans to be mean to me so they won't do it in place.

Well, something keeps coming up.

They sure are silly.

They just give me more problems if I sort my feelings out and post it online here.

The people monitoring me in private are ruining an older lady I like and our "relationship" we're supposedly supposed to have intervening with someone else talking.

They're just copying someone acting sneaky to be mean to me without getting embarrassed, supposedly.

They keep ruining an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

They rub in someone else in instead of how they used to with an older lady I'm supposedly supposed to have a "relationship" with.

It seems to have registered that I have a problem.

They keep trying to make it worse for me.

The people monitoring me in private keep making fun of me and making a big deal out of things.

They're just watching me like I'm a bad person.

They said no.

I don't feel like doing anything!

They won't stop bringing up someone I found out about 1/2 year ago.

They're all up in me.

People keep tapping into me and can't talk to me and be nice.  I have to figure my way out in a snap and it keeps happening.

The people monitoring me in private do something stupid if I say something is a problem.

Change already!

Why wait like there's a tomorrow?

I sense the influence of others.

I can't stand their growing presence. 

These people are annoying me now.

Look, I just wasted most of the day because of them and am not ready for tomorrow.

I feel distracted from getting things done.  Things are expected of me. 

Cars outside keep acting in place of an older lady I like and to people monitoring me in private.  Why can't I ignore this shit like everyone else?

Everyone bad is out on a holiday.

...and they're using it to ruin my relationship with an older lady I like, by inappropriately stimulating her like because they think I'm in trouble she won something.

So, why did they make Easter a time to remember I showed physical anger in public on or the day after Easter when the people in Orlando / Central Florida wouldn't stop being mean to me secretly.  Who cares if it happened on their "Monday after Easter?"  I do think their "Monday after Easter" is a cute idea.  I'm not the one who's really "lost it."

Some people involved monitoring me in private look for things everyone is comfortable with and come in and introduce someone will make them uncomfortable and good Late Baby Boomers will be stimulated out of doing good.

"For some odd reason," they think they should take out their frustration on me, nothing to them but a big problem for me.

Why does anyone have reason to be against me?

They keep making me mad saying my "relationship" with an older lady is cancelled by some way for some stupid reason.

Why do some people always have to be right?

Why are people acting like I'm in trouble since certain times?  Not much of a world.

It's like no one knows what's happening to me.

What was I supposed to do this time?  I felt the world taken under from me, and then it's supposedly an older lady I like and others.  I didn't do anything! and it matters.  I was just feeling different emotions.  It's not a happy thing.

I have a lot of problems from this.  They don't really get solved.

They keep stressing me out, think I could get a brain tumor or something?

Edit

"It doesn't seem like she was famous to help me."

Edit: No offense, I'm not some silly, stereotypical, sarcastic American with a bad stunted vocabulary...

They keep bouncing around saying they ruined/took my relationship with an older lady I like and have me quarantined socially like I'm in trouble when I'm just a normal person.

It doesn't seem like she was famous to help me.

Edit: No offense, I'm not some silly, stereotypical, sarcastic American with a bad stunted vocabulary...

Everyone keeps saying things that means this older lady I like is ruining/stopping our relationship and ruining my life.

Orlando thinks they're doing me a favor, but they're off kilter.  They are stupid and won't think for themselves.

Everyone is just being difficult.

The people monitoring me in private go crazy if I do anything physical when upset, like wail, even if I am alone.  It's a huge deal, though.  It made me even more mad last time while I was doing something significant.  I was already hopeless and depressed, but they're always worst case scenario and freak out and act silent and produce the result.  This could last days, all week, weeks, or in a way months.  They're just so stubborn.

The people in Orlando where I live are so stubborn, too.  I mean, I can't talk to me for them.  They always freak out selfishly when I'm the one who gets a problem.

So, no one will be strong and think for themselves.  They just dump all this stress on me, like I'm in huge trouble because I've been spotted out and am monitored in private.  They said a relative couldn't stand it for a certain reason, and they do it.

I also want to say they bring it on.  Can it just be stupidly entirely my fault?  What's so bad?  They said they are gonna be mean to me so I can't just react physically all the time.

They are there to ruin my life if I try to feel better, too.  They always want me in a state of panic.

I just called a nurse line and am supposed to go to urgent care, too, feeling stress and trembling, for other reasons, at least too.

Some people I talk to are also a bit held back from being more upfront with me, and I leave feeling perplexed and feeling the effects of racism.  I don't always realize it right away.

So, the people monitoring me in private even can't think for themselves.  They just want to show off.  I can't think for them!  I already did that, but they are stubborn and want to be simple, if I react physically in private, like wail on my sofa or something, I have to suffer a long time feeling sorry for it.  Sometimes, it's just too much.  They won't stop abusing me.  I don't want a stupid answer, neither.  I try to not do that anyway.  If I do it is not necessarily the end of the world and something to freak out over.  They don't care if people were being mean to me.  They think it's all my fault.

I was upset that way during something significant, and a relative thinks if something happens around something, "Why, then, it must be related."  So, they always do that to me, if I have an off thought or something.  They are always digging in my thoughts.

Anyway, this was too important, and I'm gonna have to pay and I'm not prepared to do this.  I feel stressed and need to go to urgent care, too.  I keep feeling uptight because of the people around me freaking out like I'm bad and in trouble.

They don't seem to let me sort out my feelings so this doesn't happen too much.  I was indeed being bullied.

The people monitoring me in private want to go by without acknowledging things.  They do mean stuff to me, like a family member said to.  I can't think for them!  I feel pressure about this.  They are always so mean, and regardless my life is then miserable.  I'm 34 and have no career or anything, and it's because of this.  It's so depressing.  They bother me so I can't get anything done, too.

In the end, they just think it's my fault I didn't get to sort out these things.

The people monitoring me in private display 2 behaviors:

1. They don't acknowledge some of my thoughts, like getting a grip on something or even in a sort of panic attack.

2. They are mean to me "just in case."

I did what I could, but it's too late!

 People take advantage of my vulnerability.

I'm not feeling right.

I'm going to bed hopeless.

I feel lost and misled.  What I was being told, I feel isn't working.

My life is sad and muggy, and what I was dependent upon socially may have been altered for a long time.

Is my life over?

...but I'm already deathly lonely and can't take any bickering from anyone.